You’re The Amish Hot Tub Salesman
by S.H. Carlyle
You run your fingers just above the warm bubbling surface, but you don’t dare put your hand in. That pleasure is not meant for you. “What can you tell us about this one?” the sinful [...]
You’re The Arsonist Architect
by S.H. Carlyle
Design. Build. Burn. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Design a 72 storey mixed-use tower downtown. Make the first 12 floors commercial leasing space with an exciting expansive entrance and grand English cathedral-style atrium. Have all the luxury designers [...]
You’re The Dentist Who Has Never Had An Orgasm
by S.H. Carlyle
It’s cavity season again. Very few people know that cavity season comes in the spring when people start going outside again and forget to brush their teeth because fuck that I’m going rollerblading. So your [...]
You’re The Stuntman In Witness Protection
by S.H. Carlyle
You worked in the accounting department at a construction department. The construction company was run by the Bellini crime family. You were perfectly happy with that. They paid well and on time. There were always pleasant-looking prostitutes [...]
You’re The Florist Who Isn’t Running A Brothel
by S.H. Carlyle
You’re not running a brothel. This is a flower shop and you’re a florist. “So you need to turn right around and take that filth into the street where it belongs.” “Look, I just want [...]
You’re The Undertaker Who Outs The Dead
by S.H. Carlyle
Daffodils are comforting flowers. They comfort without caring. That’s why you put them in the reception area. You comfort without caring. Like the daffodils. Compliment yourself on the amusing dark parallel. Compliment yourself aloud as [...]